11.10.2006

even though you're gone...

I'm going ATS for the first time this year, but I'll still pick winners so I can compare my season-end total with the hacks at ESPN.


Bills +12.5 @ Colts (W)
Texans +10.5 @ Jaguars (W)
(W) Chiefs EVEN @ Dolphins
Buccaneers +9.5 @ Panthers (W)
(W) Cowboys -7 @ Cardinals
(W) Rams +3 @ Seahawks
(W) Broncos @ Raiders +9.5
49ers @ Lions -6 (W)
Jets @ Patriots -10.5 (W)
Packers +5.5 @ Vikings (W)
Bears @ Giants EVEN (W)
Redskins +7 @ Eagles (W)
(W) Saints +4.5 @ Steelers
(W) Ravens -7 @ Titans
(W) Chargers -1 @ Bengals

Lock: Patriots
Upset: Rams... yeah, yeah, I've picked them so many times but this week I think Seattle's injuries catch up to them.
GotW: Bears @ Giants, obviously. Giants win because they're the better all around team (the offense makes up for the Bears' ridiculous defense). Should be nice and sloppy though. Low scoring.
One I'll probably get wrong: The Bills probably won't cover that spread, just thinking that the Colts won't outscore them by so many.

10.27.2006

Week 8 Picks

Baltimore 18 @ New Orleans 22
Tampa Bay 13 @ New York Giants 30
Jacksonville 14 @ Philadelphia 17
San Francisco 19 @ Chicago 23
Atlanta 20 @ Cincinatti 23
Arizona 14 @ Green Bay 24
Houston 27 @ Tennessee 20
Seattle 17 @ Kansas City 21
St. Louis 23 @ San Diego 21
New York Jets 20 @ Cleveland 17
Indianapolis 22 @ Denver 16
Pittsburgh 20 @ Oakland 18
Dallas 20 @ Carolina 26
New England 23 @ Minnesota 20

66-33 Through Week 7, 1 victory behind the leader on ESPN.com, second overall.

Hire me, bitches.

10.22.2006

even though i lost you...

Pittsburgh 23 Atlanta 16
New England 26 Buffalo 10
Carolina 20 Cincinnati 27
San Diego 23 Kansas City 12
Green Bay 20 Miami 15
Detroit 33 Jets 36
Philly 35 Tampa 17
Jacksonville 28 Houston 10
Denver 18 Cleveland 12
Washington 16 Indy 30
Arizona 17 Oakland 22
That's right you dirty Raiders, you can win this game.
Minnesota 17 Seattle 24
New York 20 Dallas 23

That's it bitches. I'm close to the top espn experts... hopefully next week will prove to be the point where i begin to lead.

political op-ed is much needed... it will come.

10.06.2006

The 5

I don't have time for the 5/5/& 5 this week so I'm just going to write about the 5 major things that I noticed this weekend/got wrong/got really right. I'm not sure how it's going to pan out, so I'll just start:

5. Bengals getting whipped by the Pats at home. I definitely didn't see this one coming. I guess every team is suspect to a let-down and this surely was one of those games for the Bungals. They're still my favorite to win the Super Bowl and I suspect this will just be a major motivator for Marvin Lewis and the Bengals. We'll have to see how well they rebound but I'm guessing they still win the division and get into the post season with a bye. But the resurgence of the Patriots? Maybe. Laurence Maroney looks like a #1 pick RB and Corey Dillion is choking on his mouthpiece. Brady is still the stud of previous years and may have found another favorite target in Doug Gabriel. You can never count the Patriots out, but they're still not quite as good as the last few years.

4. My scoring predictions are still getting close to spot on. The games I picked right ended up really close to the scores I picked, and if not the totals, the differences. I can surely pin down a lot of these predictions well, I just have to get the slop out and go with the teams that are going to win. I hope I can get another 14-2-like week. Stay tuned.

3. Jacksonville over Washington. WHERE IS THIS OFFENSE COMING FROM!?!? The Redskins were absolutely dead in the water in weeks 1 & 2 but have now emerged as one of the best in the league the last two weeks. And against a major player on defense! The Jags are still a great team but their massive schedule might make their playoff hunt a really difficult one. When they came back and tied it at 30, I thought for sure they'd beat the lowly Redskins in OT but I must have forgotten about Santana Moss. What a catch, what a run. I'll be giving a bit more clout to Washington just so you know, but I still think they're overrated. (Every year)

2. Seattle over Chicago. WOW, did those Bears put on a show or what?!? Seattle didn't have Sean Alexander and that was definitely a factor because it would have made Hasslebeck a bit more settled, but I don't think they would have won anyway. The Bears D made Seattle's prolific (against the Giants anyway) offense look LAME. Chicago's offense even looked solid. Thomas Jones two touchdowns? That killed me in my fantasy league. Bastards. Maybe the Bears are the real deal. Maybe they're not. I'm leaning towards NOT still, but they're definitely going to have a bye week going into the playoffs. We'll talk about the matchups when they happen.

1. San Franchoko- Okay, I get it. I have red and gold blinders and I can't see my team for what it really is. I'm totally die-hard for the Niners and I can't really get a real evaluation on them because I see potential when there probably isn't any. I think we're better than we are because I WANT us to be better than we are. I will work on picking us to lose from now on, I promise. Should we have lost by 41? ABSOLUTELY NOT. We have a MUCH better offense than that and Norv is making me scratch my chin a bit. The worst part is that I have to pick them again this week! I won't give you a 10 minute run-down of why we CAN win the game when I make my predictions later. I will just tell you the final score so I remove myself from the potentially damaging biased comments that reporters so dearly fear. I still love my shitty team though, yes, yes I do.

Dodgers Analysis

I planned on writing a blog after game 1 but I ran out of time. As you should know, it's 2-0 Mets heading back to Los Angeles. The home team is supposed to win their games and force a game 5. We'll have to see if the Dodgers can put up a fight.

Game 1:
What's the deal with the runners??!?! That play where Drew and Kent were both tagged out at home was absolutely absurd. I'm sure you've heard about it since then, but God damn that shit was stupid. Personally, I blame the third base coach and J.D. Drew the most. First of all, everyone in the stadium first thought that the fly ball was going to be caught. Thus, Kent and Drew didn't have much of a chance to take off running and therefore would have SURELY had a close play at the plate on Kent, who is no speedy man. SO, at worst case, Kent should have been thrown out at home, Drew would be at third and Martin would be at second. INSTEAD, the third base coach BARELY signals to Drew to hold up, and he doesn't pay attention. Immediately after telling Drew to stop however, the coach drops his hands and kind of stands there like an idiot. He was confused. You can't be confused when coaching third base! Jesus Christ, this is the playoffs! Had things worked out right, we could have had a 3 run lead leaving that inning and the final score would have most definitely been affected.

Grady Little has been criticised a gagillion times for his Pedro incident in the playoffs. I have been happy with Grady all year and really don't think the Pedro deal was THAT big of a blunder. I mean, he lost the playoffs because of it, but in the end it came down to him having faith in his BEST pitcher. That's suspect at best. But now that the playoffs are happening, I've been feeling a certain move and Grady does something completely opposite. I get a gut feeling, and he gets a gut feeling, and they're completely different.

I don't like that.

He is the coach and I'm the opinionated spectator, but the guy isn't exactly winning games with his decisions. Did you see what Leyland did with the Tigers the other day? Now that's intuitive coaching. Grady puts in Brad Penny, who is obviously still struggling with his back, and Penny gives up 2 earned and the game is out of reach.

The main thing coming out of this 6-5 loss was that we put up a fight. Even with some stupid plays and some bad pitching calls, we hung with the best team in the National League for 9 innings and even had a chance to win that game in the end. Instead it really came down to who was the better team, and that's the Mets. Hands down. Oh well, lose game 1, gotta put up a fight in game 2. The home teams ARE supposed to win.

Game 2:

I wasn't really confident in Kuo although he pitched well, I thought. Nothing crazy dominating, but he did hold them to 4 runs throughout. The beginning innings kept us surely around but it took 3 innings just to get a hit. When you're playing a team like the Mets with their offense, you HAVE to put up some runs. We didn't.

Glavine looked just like I thought he would: Hall of Famer. This was honestly the most boring game I've seen in a long time and is an example of why people say they don't like baseball because it's slow and lame. This game was extremely slow and lame. I fell asleep 3 or 4 different times and the Dodgers didn't have a chance from the first pitch.

We hold the best team in the league to 4 runs and we don't even have a chance? The Dodgers looked DEAD. All through the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th, EVERY Dodger player looked as if the game was over. Totally deer in the headlights man, and that can't happen in the playoffs.

Here's the deal:

Because of the attitude I saw on their faces leaving that game, I think we're going to get swept. HOWEVER, if we DO win game 3, we WILL win game 4. Then anything can happen in game 5.

Winning 3 in a row against the best team all year? Most likely not going to happen.

I'm not betting on it. See what happens in game 3. See if those wide-eyed Dodgers clamp down and focus. See if they score 7 runs and win that game handily. If they do, we'll go to game 5.

If they don't, see you next year.

9.30.2006

NFL Week 4 Predictshizzles

I was perusing through the ESPN.com pages the other day, as you know I do, and I stumbled across the rankings for their "Experts." As I looked over their picks for the week I couldn't help but race to the bottom to see their overall scores for the season. I wanted to compare them with mine of course.

As you can see here, three guys are 30-16 for the season.

I'm 30-16 for the season. So not only am I at the same level as these clowns, I'm the one who actually speaks out about the mistakes! Providing accountability in the sports journalism world and makin' myself look good at the same time.

Here are your picks:

Indianapolis Colts @ New York Jets
If you saw my column in the middle of the week, you noticed that I gave a lot of credit to Peyton even though he's been making me look foolish the last few weeks. I'm stickin' with the man this week though, Colts win despite a rejuvinated New York offense. Chad Pennington can pull the strings if he's healthy and he looks healthy thus far. I don't think that the Jets defense can match the Colts a lick and that will be the main factor.

Colts 33 Jets 20

New Orleans @ Carolina
This is a tough game to call. I suppose it wouldn't be though if it weren't for the fact that we all thought Carolina was a good team at the beginning of the season. I think that if we stripped ourselve of all previous misconceptions and just looked at what was happening on paper, everyone would agree that the Saints should get the nod here. I'm tempted, but I just don't quite have faith that Sean Payton can keep this train running after that crazy emotional victory last week.

Carolina DOES have a good team and could very well return to form in this game. Will John Fox's time-tested defense step up and shut down the Saints at home or will this be the 3rd loss for the team, sending them to the doldrums of the NFC South?

As much as I'd like to root for the Saints, Drew Brees, and Reggie Bush, I think that Carolina needs this game really bad and it fits that they'll win.

Saints 14 Panthers 20

San Diego @ Baltimore
LaDanian Tomlinson can be stopped. I swear. The Eagles held him to something like 6 yards last year and that was WITH Drew Brees. Now, is the Baltimore defense ABSOLUTELY bulletproof? I'm not sure. Before the season I said that Philip Rivers would struggle this year and I think he's proved me wrong in his first two games. Baltimore should give him some serious trouble this week though, and I think it will be the reason that the Ravens win. I don't see many points being scored in this game because both defenses are stout and play with aggression every week and neither offense has really proved anything to me so far.

Ravens 13 Chargers 7

Miami @ Houston
You should already know my disgust with the Dolphins. You should also know that I picked the Texans to beat the Redskins last week.

I can't decide on which team will f*ck up the least.

Miami hasn't proven that they can score but everyone thinks they can. The Texans can score but can't stop anyone. Can they stop the Dolphins long enough to get a lead? I think they will but how can Daunte and Chambers not score on this defense? With Ronnie Brown? They have to win this game, no doubt. But David Carr and his boys have to be good for SOME victories... why not this week? I'm torn but I'm going with the talent.

Dolphins 20 Texans 18

Arizona @ Atlanta
Another week where I get to tell everyone "I told you so" about the Cardinals. They have no chance of stopping Vick/Dunn and will get scored on freely. I'm wondering how angry the Falcons defense will be about Monday night though. I think they can seriously hold those receivers better than a lot of teams.

Arizona 17 Falcons 30

Minnesota @ Buffalo
I've been saying all year that the Vikings are a solid team and will compete with anyone. I still think they're going to be challenging the Bears for the top spot in the NFC Norris but the fact that they can't really separate from any team worries me when picking them on the road in a tough environment like Buffalo.

The Bills offense looks like a dam about to burst and could unload on any team one of these weeks. Hell, they pretty much unloaded on the Jets last week but couldn't find the endzone. This game will be a bit closer than that because of Minnesota's defense but I'm thinking the Bills will get a solid second victory here at home. No discredit to the Vikings though, this will be close.

Vikings 21 Bills 24

Dallas @ Tennessee
T.O. comes back from the dead in this game and scores a LONG touchdown against the Titans. No finger problem, no pill problem, just a defense problem.

Titans have no chizzance in hizzell.

Cowboys 28 Titans 16

San Francisco @ Kansas City
Every single person in the world is picking Kansas City in this one and I honestly can't see why. Yeah, I'm probably blinded by the fact that I'm a major Niners fan, but really though, is Kansas City ANY good?

Their defense is so-so, their offense is so-so, their new coach is so-so. Granted, the 49ers can be classified in this way in most of the same categories as well. But the Chiefs don't have their quarterback of 85 years in Trent Green and are starting a 33 year old quarterback who coming into this season had only thrown ONE pass in the league.

The Niners defense is surely good enough to get at him a few times right? We do have quite a few sacks on the season so far. The Chiefs don't have a really good receiving corps aside from Tony Gonzalez, but really, how much can he explode? Larry Johnson is going to have a good day against the linebackers for sure, and the Chiefs WILL put up some points.

Haven't the Niners shown they can put up points too, though? Haven't they shown that they're at least READY to contend with good teams? (The Eagles always crush us, by the way) I think that there are too many questions for Kansas City in this game and not enough solutions. The Niners CAN win this game.

They definitely won't lose by more than 7, the spread in my office pool.

NO WAY.

I have too much pride to see it any other way but go ahead and talk shit if we lose.

49ers 27 Chiefs 21

Detroit @ Saint Louis
Do the Lions really have an offense? Do the Rams really have an offense? I don't think so.

The dome will contribute enough to St. Louis' scoring though and they'll put up more than the Lions. Probably a good sloppy fight though.

Lions 18 Rams 23

Jacksonville @ Washington
This is the toughest place to play in the nation but the Jaguars are one of the toughest teams in the league. The Redskins, the team that I so blatantly attacked last week, are not. Brunell was a star last week but won't have a chance to breath against his former team. Portis will have no attack, Cooley ain't gonna solve anything, and Santana is M.I.A.

Jaguars 20 Redskins 6

Cleveland @ Oakland
Can the Raiders score at all? Will they even get past half way? Who the hell knows, but this game is surely do or die for #1 pick. I think they will show a teenie, tiny bit of improvement but Kellen and the Browns will get too many scores against the solid Raider defense. Can Art Shell set another record for most penalties called in a season? Probably.

At least they're at home, it will give them SOME shot.

Browns 20 Raiders 13

Patriots @ Bengals
They pretty much were my Super Bowl choice before the season but I needed to weigh in on Carson's leg. They pretty much made me look like a genius last week against the Steelers. For some reason I can just pick those divisional games. The Patriots are reeling but still have Tom Brady. What does it mean?

That they'll have a chance in any game and if the other team can't capitalize or turns the ball over, New England will probably win. I don't see it this week though and the Bengals will probably beat the ex-ex Champs pretty handily.

Patriots 18 Bengals 26

Seattle @ Chicago
Another game that can go any direction. I've been raggin' on the Bears all year and I still think that their offense is VERY suspect. Rex Grossman IS NOT a Super Bowl quarterback and that's all you need to know if you're a Chicago fan. However, that doesn't mean that this team cannot win games. They have an amazing defense that will always keep them around. On the other side of the pillow, the Seahawks are SURELY a great team and will most likely find themselves deep into the playoffs as well. For me, even though they don't have Alexander and are on the road, Holmgren can win these games. Hasslebeck can win these games. This will be a slugfest on a nasty Solider Field in Chicago and anything can happen with turnovers but after what they did to the Giants last week, I can't pick against the 'Hawks.

Seahawks 13 Bears 8

Green Bay @ Philadelphia
McNabb and Westbrook are just too good for this team. Brett will be playing from behind as always and will get some solid stats against the Eag's in the end but he and the Pack just don't have what it takes to get it done against this prolific offense. Yes, I said PROLIFIC.

Packers 20 Eagles 38

There it is people... another week in the books. Let's hope that I do well.

:D

Go Bruins and GO DODGERS! Did you see that game last night? What poise we have... amazing run but we need those Padres to keep losing.

9.28.2006

Week 3's 5/5/&5

Week 3 definitely proved to be the hardest to predict so far, just as I predicted. Hehe...

I ended up 8-6 for the week, bringing the overall total to 30-16. That actually lowers my overall percentage but I'm confident that I'll bounce back. The one thing I was really proud of though was my improved score predicting. More on that later...

5 Things I Got Wrong
5. "Miami will look good this week." Wow, what a fuckin' waste it was for Miami to pick up Culpepper. I know they didn't have a quarterback before, but just think of all the money they'd have if they left this lop somewhere else. I guess he still has the skills but why is it taking him an ENTIRE offseason and AT LEAST three weeks to get comfortable in the offense? Terrible, absolutely terrible. This team still has a lot of weapons and a lot of potential but I will continue to be skeptical until they beat a couple big names. I figured they'd break out against the Titans and score 30 but they barely won the friggin' game, thank God for Olindo Mare. 13-10 against THAT team with all your weapons and your coach is just absurd.

4. "Buffalo has no offense." Yeah, they did play the Jets, but seriously, they had 150 yards on the ground from McGahee and over 320 yards in the air from Losman. I guess the Jets' defense is more to blame for the explosion but a team with NO offense surely wouldn't gain upwards of 500 yards against any team. Maybe the Bills can get going on offense and win a few more games. If they can keep some teams off the board and put up points, a .500 record is never out of reach. Keep an eye on their progress if you give a crap.

3. "Peyton has at least two INTs." Once again the big Manning brother proves me wrong. I don't know what it is, because I totally like the guy, I love watching him run the offense, and I would tell anyone that he's the best quarterback in the league. But for some reason I just keep picking against him. Maybe it's his playoff record. I don't know. Either way, the Jags forced him to beat him through the air (see Things I Got Right #3) and he DID. The bootleg was pretty nasty too. Peyton rules, that's all.

2. New York Giants 20 Seattle Seahawks 17. I even gave myself a scapegoat and said that the game could go both ways, but based on their performance, anyone who picked the Giants has to feel like an idiot. The Seahawks manhandled them all the way to the end there, despite the 27 point comeback. That was an utter RAPING and I'm sorry that I predicted it the other way. I'm actually beginning to wonder if the Giants are a good team and whether or not Coughlin can actually run a team in the NFL. Things are slipping apart in the NYG camp and they better get their heads on straight during the bye week if they want to make the playoffs. If records permit it, every one of the teams in the NFC East could end up 8-8. Shitty. I won't be voting for them much more.

1. "The Redskins won't even win this game." All right, it was an upset pick. And it was based on the TERRRRRRRRRRIBLE performances by Washington in the first two weeks and what I thought was "inspired" football from the Texans over the same span. Unfortunately I didn't predict Mark Brunell tying the league RECORD for most consecutive completions (22) and end up only having TWO (2) INCOMPLETIONS! Are you fuckin' kidding me? Where the hell did he pull that from? I think he paid Steve Young to suit up and wear his jersey. Heehe.... no seriously, all the credit to him and the 'Skins for getting back on track. The worst part? It was against the Texans and doesn't mean a damn thing. The Redskins are STILL overrated and STILL overhyped more than ANY other team EVERY year. Fuck Washington.

5 Things I Got Right
5. The 49ers. All right, all right, we got our asses beat by a SUPERIOR Eagles team. I had high hopes and they were dashed at the feet of Brian Westbrook and that big bastard who picked up a fumble and only scored because Vernon Davis broke his leg on the rundown. Here's the deal though: The Eagles called some seriously superior, big-time plays, including the very first one from scrimmage and that threw us off our game for sure. Going down by 7 two minutes into the game will seriously affect play-calling throughout. Anyway, when Frank Gore was at the 2 and fumbled and that big bastard rumbled all the way back down, that was a 14 point switch. (7 gone for us and 7 for them) Without that play happening and us going into the endzone, things could have ended up looking quite different. We only lost by 7. What I'm saying here is that we ARE a better team than people expect and should be getting some serious respect now. We play hard, tough, and smart... we just can't quite match up with teams the caliber of the Eag's. Niners will win this week. :D

4. Rams over Cardinals and that the Cardinals shouldn't have a bandwagon anymore. The Rams didn't do quite as much offensively as I expected but I knew they'd come into the new stadium and hand the Cards a loss. They did, I win, neener neener. Seriously though, does anyone still think Kurt Warner is any good? He can't even handle a snap. This is the same guy they starting calling "Joe Montana" when he won his first superbowl. FUCK ANYONE WHO EVER SAID SUCH A THING. FUCK THEM, DIE. Anyway, the Cardinals have no defense and are not running the ball, making Edge quite disappointed. They have a lot of work to do and may finish below the Niners in the NFC West. We're not losing to them at home. (Wow, I talk waaaay too much about the Niners huh? Too bad asshole, read somewhere else.) :D

(I'm just kidding)

3. The Jags will run the nickle and still stop the Colts running game. Well, I was SURELY right about this shit, even down to how they would play the entire game. Had they smartened up and watched Peyton on that bootleg, I might have actually gotten the prediction right. I think that detailed prediction (although the final was wrong) really shows you all what I know and how I apply direct football knowledge into my predictions. I guess I just had too much faith in the Jax offense. Did you see Maurice Drew though? Jones-Drew, sorry. GO BRUINS!

2. Bears/Minnesota. If you scroll down and read what I wrote about the game, it would be like looking into the future, except for the fact that it already happened. I really called this one, and I don't think there was a sentence that was even disputable. I can really call these teams so far, we'll see if the trend continues. The Vikes are a good team, the Bears are a good team, I bet the division winner isn't locked up until week 16 or 17.

1. SCORING IMPROVEMENT. I finally got a couple final scores right on the money. Cinci/Pit was off by 1 point, Chi/Min was off by 4 points, and GB/Det was off by 5 points. I also predicted the Saints exact final points, I just added a "1" to Atlanta's score that I shouldn't have. lol. The point is that I'm getting there and one of these days I'm gonna go 16-0 and get two scores exact. When that happens I'll start applying to Sportsbook.com. But either way, there is progress in picking scores... and that's the hardest thing to do in the NFL. Scouts INC just says every game will be 20-17. At least I have balls.

5 Random Observations
5. The NFL has had many offensive and defensive "mindstates," if you will, over the past few decades. In the 80's it was all about having a dynamic passing game, and that evolved into the West Coast Offense. Later, it became that you needed to run the ball all day to have a good passing game. Now, it is evolving into a, "Do What You're Best At On Offense," and run the no huddle as much as you can league.

When Peyton and Dungy rolled out the no-huddle, they demoralized defenses and still do to this day. Carson Palmer and Marvin Lewis caught on and now they run the same offense and are doing the same thing to defenses. Brady did it in the game the other day and so did the Giants and Seahawks. This offense is the future, until it changes of course. The "Do What You're Best At On Offense" has to do with teams not necessarily relying on more pass or more run. The successful teams DO WHAT WORKS. The Falcons (Monday Excluded) have brought back old-style running because they have weapons that can run all over you. The Colts have adopted a Pass-to-set-up-the-run offense because they don't have a prolific runner anymore. The Steelers still run the smash-mouth way and get it done a lot. It's funny how things work out and get adopted by everyone, but the biggest trend I'm seeing this year (because I predicted last year that the no-huddle would be the future) is that teams are going with their strength to set up other facets and not sticking to old-fashioned gameplans. The game is much more adaptable and on-the-fly. I dig.

4. The Patriots are bunk. So much for the dynasty... it's over with. Belichick still has the smarts but they keep letting names get away and it's going to hurt them. New England looked completely outmatched against a Denver team that was and is still struggling to find itself. The Patriots will be a tough team to beat every week but they're no longer a playoff lock. I wonder if they'll even make it this year. Brady is great, but he needs weapons. Corey Dillon WAS great, but he's fading... luckily they have a future RB but they need to make some improvements quick.

3. Carolina has a good defense? What the hell happened to that? The Bucs hadn't scored a touchdown coming in and ended up almost winning and putting up 24 points with a quarterback that had no spleen! Who knows what to expect from this team now? Well, I expect the defense to be motivated by the win and motivated by the fact that their offense actually scored 26 points. They'll get back on track but Jesus man, everyone expected shutouts.. not shootouts.

2. The Bears are overrated. I said it all year last year and I'm gonna say it again. They have a great defense, maybe the BEST defense, but they just don't have it together on offense. Grossman has looked better but he's still no stud. They still haven't found much on the ground and Thomas Jones is coming off a career year. The worst part for Bears fans, my Dad included, is that they are going to most likely win the division and end up with a bye week in the playoffs and then lose. Why do you build me up, build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down?

1. Homefield advantage still exists. I don't think the Bengals would have had a chance to beat the Saints in that game on Monday. Everyone in the nation was rooting for the Saints to win and they surely knew it. A blocked punt in an NFL game? For a TD? When was the last time that happened? A blocked field goal in the same game? THAT is some INSPIRED football. I'm glad for them too. New Orleans needed it and everyone has to be happy with the way things are going in the football camp. That was an impressive victory and surely based on the stadium and everyone being emotionally sprung. Congrats New Orlineans, now go rebuild your houses.

Predictions to come Friday or Saturday.

:D

9.21.2006

Week 3 Predictions/Explanation of Absence

You wanna know how good I REALLY am? You really wanna know?

Last week I was too tired (and inebriated) to post a blog Saturday night/early Sunday morning so I wrote down my predictions, with scores, on a piece of paper and showed it to a friend so he could back me up if people thought I lied.

Of course, here comes the vulnerability because people will probably start calling me a fraud when I tell you my record.

14-2 people... FOURTEEN RIGHT AND TWO WRONG. Mmmm hmmm, that's right, dance around, feel the love, shake your booty.

I told you that I knew football.

Okay, okay, it might have been an easy week, and this one will be harder, but still, who do you know that only got Philly/Giants wrong (and you know that was almost a fluke) and Miami/Buffalo. The 'fins were SUPPOSED to win that game. Not my fault they didn't. I'll take the second check mark in the "L" column, it's cool.

If anyone requests, I will post my exact predictions for your merry benefit. Some games I was only off by a few points.

So, after going 8-8 in Week 1 and 14-2 in Week 2, for those of you that took Algebra I, that's 22-10 through two weeks. That's a 69% winning percentage, but I'm not happy with that people, we must get into the seventies and stay there. Tough task, but hey, I'm for big goals. On to Week 3 and the toughest one so far.

Carolina @ Tampa Bay
After looking at the records and the number of points these two teams have scored in the first two weeks, this seems like a snooze-fest. I would beg to differ, and give both these teams SOME credit. The Panthers are surely the better team here but have been without the best WR in the league last year for their first two games. The Bucs were a team coming in with high hopes but they've done nothing short of shatter all dreams for Tampa fans. Chris Simms is NOT what people expected and neither is Cadillac Williams. The O-Line and D-Lines are OLD and dwindling. The Panthers will take a bit to jell on offense and that's the only reason TB will stay in the game. Carolina wins and finally gets off the schnide. (sp?) Tampa has NO HOPE for the rest of the season and Gruden better win a solid amount of games if he wants to avoid "new coach" talks.

Carolina 21 Tampa Bay 9

Chicago @ Minnesota
Minnesota, Brad Childress, and Brad Johnson have to be extremely happy with the way things are going for the Vikes. I'm excited for them and I'm not even a fan. Chester Taylor has run well, Brad has continued to refrain from making any mistakes, and Childress has made nasty play calls to solidfy victory against two suspected top teams.

The Bears have done exactly what was expected of them and more, but they've faced two shitty teams in the first two weeks. Detroit and Green Bay are garbage and the Bears SHOULD have beaten them the way they did. This will be the first really rough matchup for them and is especially dangerous because the Vikings have momentum and are playing at home. I think their defense will keep them above water in this one, but don't count Minnesota out.

Chicago 20 Minnesota 13

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh
Uh-oh... another slugfest for the Steelers. After the punishing they took at the hands of the Jaguars, they'll be looking to get back on track against a team that obliterated them last year, even though they won the one matchup that counted. "You're welcome," yells Kimo Von Olhoeffen. Big Ben was really off against the Jags and looked like a rookie. I think that appendectomy hurt more than he was willing to admit. On a side note, for those of you who criticized Bill Cowher for starting Ben in Jax, eat your words. The kid has lost like 2 games in his career and already has a big fat Super Bowl ring. Are you seriously going to tell the kid to sit if he's telling you he's ready to play? Not with that track record. Hindsight is 20/20 and also privy to moronic representation.

The Bengals haven't shown their explosive offense yet, with the exception of Rudi running all over Cleveland. They most likely won't blow the doors off the Steelers this week either, despite the fact that they have been putting up great numbers against the Steel Curtain at home and away.

Bengals 27 Steelers 20 (Sorry boys, but you ain't repeating)

Green Bay @ Detroit
Does anyone still care about either of these teams? I sure as hell don't. Favre has the skills, he has no teammates. Detroit has the paper tigers that are more like caterpillars on the field. I'll probably get this wrong, even though I can see either one winning.

Packers 28 Lions 26

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
This is probably game of the week, and could unfold in any number of ways. After Monday night, you should all know how good Jacksonville is and you should also know how good Peyton and the Horsies are already. Here's why I see it the way I do:

Indianapolis can throw the ball on anyone. The Jags defense will fair better than other teams but still won't be able to keep Peyton out of the endzone. The Colts running game is anemic at best, and will most likely be controlled all game, even without putting 8 in the box. Here's the kicker: The Jags can most likely run Nickle (an extra defensive back to help against the pass) and can still stop the run. They know that Peyton will be throwing all day, and I think that because Addai and Rhodes can't really do much, Jacksonville can do a fair share of damage against the Colts offense. Jacksonville will struggle to score as always but they will get enough up there to keep a fight up the whole game.

Jacksonville 24 Indianapolis 20 (Peyton has at least 2 INTs)

New York Jets @ Buffalo
Another one that I don't care enough about. Buffalo pulled one over the Dolphins last week and the Jets came close to upsetting the Patriots but fell short. Buffalo has no offense but will be at home in the rain. The Jets have some sort of light on O but not sure about the D. I really don't care if I get this wrong, but I'm going with the team that burned me last week.

NYJ 10 Bills 13

Tennessee @ Miami
The battle of beatens. Volek is gone and things are tumultuous in the Titans' camp. Vince Young isn't the starter but should be, and the Titans still have no offense. Miami will look good in this one but they're not going to really make waves until Daunte figures out that he needs to adapt to not having Randy Moss or his same mobility from years past. I had a lot of respect for Miami coming into the year but it's completely gone. Tennessee was never suspect to turn heads, but they'll most likely have the #2 pick right behind the Raiders in the 2007 NFL Draft.

Titans 12 Dolphins 30

Washington @ Houston
Another battle of beatens. Seriously, is there one team more overhyped EVERY SINGLE YEAR than the Redskins? Snyder ALWAYS makes moves, and ALWAYS gets press, and ALWAYS gets noticed by ESPN. Unforunately for him, that shit doesn't matter when the grass gets torn up. I knew it though... and I should have made a bigger stink about it. The Redskins will never win a championship under Joe Gibbs and they won't make the playoffs this year with this team. Thanks for taking Brandon Lloyd off our hands, seriously. Andre Carter? Eh, we don't care... we have more wins than you. (SF)

I'd like to go with the odds and say so, but I have respect for David Carr and Kubiak. Washington won't even win this game.

Pinkskins 16 Texans 20

Baltimore @ Cleveland
I didn't think Steve McNair looked good at all last week, but there's one thing that came out of the game that really tells the tale: They won. McNair isn't what he used to be and surely needs to have more reps with his new team, but their defense is ridiculous as always and they'll be a contender all the while with Steve improving. Charlie Frye needs to be a backup somewhere, and the Browns need to get over the fact that they got burned on a QB draft pick in Tim Couch. Everyone gets burned on a QB every once and a while, even the 49ers. (See: Jim Druckenmiller)

Droughns gets stuffed, Charlie is on the run, and the Ravens get closer to being a nice offensive team. Are people still talking about Brian Billick being fired? Gosh you guys are stupid.

Ravens 24 Cleveland 12

New York Giants @ Seattle
Who knows how this game will end up? Not me... that's for sure. Both teams can make great offensive and defensive arguments and both can remark about momentum. The fact is, it's really just going to come down to who wants it more. I'd say they both need it just as bad, maybe the Seahawks have a bit less incentive being that their division race is quite weak. This will be a tough game for both and may be injury-filled. I'll take the hot hand in the Giants after their crazy victory over the Eagles last week and acknowledge that Seattle's 11 game home win streak will end here. Hey, it can't last forever.. why not now?

Giants 20 Seahawks 17

Philadelphia @ San Francisco
How about that SEXY Niner victory last week? 72 yard TD from Smith to Bryant! Gore runs all over the Rams. I watched a replay of that game on YouTube and seriously, the Rams were lucky to be within 7. We BEAT THE CRAP out of them every down, all day long... and that's not even a biased opinion. It was there in black and white. Offensive blips are the only reason that the Rams were close. If Gore didn't fumble on the 2, we would have won by 20.

I really have high hopes going into this game. Jevon Kearse is gone for the Eagles and they must be demoralized after choking so hard against a tough division rival. They HAD that game last week. McNabb is absolutely ridiculous right now and will surely do some serious damage to our average secondary who has been playing really well. Westbrook is hurt, and I think we'll knock him out of this game.

Gore will get his yards and Smith will get a TD, but I think he'll throw his first INT in this game. Hopefully McNabb won't be able to beat us himself, but they really are the better team. Watch out for an upset though, we really aren't that bad of a team and are playing at home with a lot of swagger. Just for the sake of my record,

Eagles 28 49ers 21

St. Louis @ Arizona
Are people ever going to get off the Cardinals bandwagon? They'll lose 8 games and people will still be talking about the new stadium and how good their offense can be. Sure, they DO have the best WR corps in the game, and DO have a great RB in Edge, but they have ZERO offensive line and ZERO defense. It's just not going to happen this year without OL or DL help next year. I think the Rams will get on track offensively against a weak defense and Bulger will throw all over these little birdies. The Rams D will struggle to stay afloat but I really don't see the Cardinals winning this game.

Rams 27 Cardinals 20

Denver @ New England
The Broncos are looking to get things going offensively, like so many teams, and so are the Patriots. The Broncos are shocked that they forgot that they were a great team last year and the Patriots are reeling after finally relinquishing their hold on the NFL. A lot of guys are saying that the Patriots are frauds and that the Broncos are going to get back on track this week. I really don't know if anyone should buy into that. Tom Brady is still one of the best quarterbacks in the league and Bill Belichick is still one of the best defensive minds in the game.

I DO think Jake will do better, but the Culter talks will still rumble in Denver after this week. The Broncos will get better, but the Patriots will get better-er. (That's right baby, grammar-champ)

Denver 21 Patriots 27

Atlanta @ New Orleans
The Falcons are looking like the best team in the NFC right now, and finally people are realizing that Vick can win without passing for 300 yards a game. I was even a critic of his passing skills and thought that he would need to improve to make the Falcons a championship franchise. He still might. As of now, things look great. We'll just have to see.

The only reason I would doubt them in this game is that I think they might be flying kind of high and may be due for a let-down. DUE, is a strong word because they've only played two games. Here are a couple of FACTS for this game:

The Saints will put up more points on Atlanta than anyone else previous.

Drew Brees will throw a touchdown.

Either Reggie Bush or McAllister will have a touchdown.

I'd like to take the Saints because of all the hype and the love they'll be getting in the new stadium, but I just can't pick against the Falcons. These teams ALWAYS slug it out though, even when Aaron Brooks was at the helm for N'Alins.

Atlanta 31 New Orleans 23

That's 10 road wins I picked, and that's probably not going to happen.. I just can't see enough reason to give a lot of these home teams credit.

I'll give you a college update tomorrow.

TJ

9.16.2006

Stay in School

Well, it's really friggin' late and I just realized that I didn't make my Week 2 predictions. Frankly, I'm too damn tired to type up my whole analysis of the NFL's second week. Being that I haven't lost a college game prediction yet--yeah, I'm a whopping 4-0--I wanted to get something up before the round of games manana. Here goes nothin':

There are a ton of nasty matchups this week and I'm going to give you a few more than four to pay attention to.

My lock of the week:

UCLA WILL NOT LOSE ITS FIRST GAME THIS WEEK.

Now to more serious matters...

#7 Florida @ #11 Tennessee
Tennessee really opened people's minds back up after shalacking the Cal Bears in the opening game. Ainge has looked solid at quarterback but this will be his first test against a top team from the east coast. Florida always has what it takes and Urban Meyer might have a serious contender this year, too bad Ohio State, Notre Dame, Miami, and USC are still in the NCAA. Florida's Leak will outshine Ainge in this one and people will begin to reconsider their opinions on Phil Fulmer's reemergence. He's doing the right thing however, and Tennesee is back on the road to prominence. They'll round out the top 25 next week.

Florida 32 Tennessee 20

#6 LSU @ #3 Auburn
This would, and still can be, the game of the week if it weren't for Michigan and Notre Dame. These two teams have terrific defenses and terrific offenses and will surely beat the crap out of each other in a good ole fashioned Southern slugfest. You want action? You want to see what college football is really all about? Then watch this game. It will have big scores, big defensive plays, big special teams plays, and may even be really sloppy at times. To be honest, there might be some goal posts coming down after Auburn wins a squeaker at home. It also might be the exact opposite of my scoring prediction and end up like 14-6.

LSU 40 Auburn 43 Final 2 OT

#19 Nebraska @ #4 USC
Ugh... you know how much I hate the Trojans. There probably isn't another institution on this earth that I have more disdain for than USC. Even the Iranian government has its perks. Well, maybe not. But as I grow older, I've started to understand that the real battle in college football is East vs. West and not any other way around. It circumvents the small squabbles we have in Los Angeles, even though Trojan fans wouldn't call it much of a squabble considering the last 5 years. I think SC will actually get a bit of a scare in this one as Nebraska comes out firing and playing really pumped up football. However, Carroll will prove to be the better of two shitty ex-NFL coaches and win this one relatively comfortably in the end.

Nebraska 24 USC 38

#17 Miami @ #12 Louisville
In the opening game of this year, Louisville lost its best runner in a guy named Bush. At the time of the injury, I was sleeping on the couch with the game on in the background. It was one of those sleeps where hearing and feeling outside things affects the way the dreams take place, and it led to a funny situation. You see, I had just had a fantasy draft in which I selected Reggie Bush. In the dream, however, I was listening to Reggie's first game and my funny little mind put him in the place of this other Bush guy from Louisville. He broke his leg in the game and my fantasy season was destroyed. I was happy upon waking up but Louisville surely wasn't, for their star running back was out for the year. Lucky for them they have a great offense and other star players that can fill in quite well. Unfortunately, it wouldn't have mattered if Michael Bush had his tibia in solidarity for this one, Miami shows it is a powerhouse as usual and wins handily.

Louisville 16 Miami 31

#11 Michigan @ #2 Notre Dame
You've heard about my feelings about SC and you've also heard from previous weeks how much I love Ohio State. Well, Michigan is easily my second-most-hated, well, actually third after Arizona broke my heart last year, school in the nation. This team is on the rise, though they won't come close to beating OSU this year, and will definitely be the best match for ND so far this year. Next to Georgia Tech of course. Michigan controls the game early but can't hang on and Brady Quinn and his hot sister prevail for another week. Everyone has been picking Michigan as the upset team this week but I'm not buying it. The Irish will lose this year, but can you blame them? The schedule has already been RIDICULOUS and it's only the 3rd game. UCLA and SC are also coming to town. Ouch, Charlie, ouch.

Michigan 24 Notre Dame 33

Two Upsets of the Week for No Particular Reason:

Iowa State @ #16 Iowa
The Hawkeyes, that's the home team, are getting their "stud" QB back this week but the team has come out FLAT in both games this year. It will finally bite them in the ass, as it usually does in this game, and ISU STORMS up a victory.

ISU 35 Iowa 20

BYU @ #23 Boston College

I have no rationale, no reasoning, and I don't know anything about these teams except for the fact that BC got a solid win last week that they probably didn't deserve. I see them going down in a let-down to the Mormons.

BYU 23 BC 19

NFL Week 2 Predictions to come tomorrow!

Happy Footballing...

9.12.2006

Week 1 Wrap/5 Things

What a terrible week 1. We found out so many things and found so many more questions. I look like a genius in some ways and look like an imbecile in others. I guess I shouldn't say it was a TERRIBLE week, but I was surely disappointed. That's not even applied to my favorite team, because I'm proud of what they did on offense. The defense? To be expected. How about the NFC powerhouses, Carolina and Seattle? NINE TO SIX? Are you kidding me? Sean Alexander rushed for 51 yards! Is it time to panic in The Wet City? Nah, they'll do just fine. At least they left with a "W." Carolina, on the other hand, better get their act together. I find it hard to believe that Steve Smith's absence equates to an absolute smashing against a tough but beatable division rival. How about those Broncos? Jake Plummer looked like he was wearing an Arizona jersey again, and already the Jay Cutler whispers are emanating. Even Drew Bledsoe is getting shit, but is this completely unexpected? I like Drew Bledsoe and I think he's going to turn it around, but 3 INTs against a tough defense is nothing out of Drew's capability EVERY WEEK. He will improve, however, and Dallas will still contend for the division. There is a lot to talk about, but I'll give you my wrap on my picks and 5 things I got right and 5 things I got terribly wrong. Plus 5 observations for the heck of it.

WEEK 1 SCORE: 8-8 Including Miami, which wasn't on my blog. Average, you say? I say PITIFUL! It will improve, now that I know what I know.

Five Things I Got Way Wrong
5. Forgetting about Jacksonville and Jack Del Rio. Granted, they surely aren't making a bid for defensive performance of the week, but they most definitely reminded everyone that they're a damn good football team. The worst part is that I knew it! I knew that Del Rio would have a solid defense, that Leftwich can be a winning quarterback in the NFL, and that Fred Taylor isn't quite as fragile as the fantasy world makes him out to be. I guess I totally whiffed on this one, and banked on the new-and-improved Dallas offense to make the Jags wish they were playing the Titans. What a mistake that was. Dallas DID put up 17 points, but I really believe that they're a top tier team and 17 points should be a given every single week. Needless to say, I should have NEVER picked Dallas to put up 35, let alone on the road at Jacksonville. See more below.

4. In predicting scores, somehow I totally forgot everything I've learned about scoring in the NFL. It must have been the hours of college football and massive amount of anticipation for Ohio State vs. Texas, even all the analysis of those stupid SC kids across town. For whatever reason, I assumed that NFL teams would be putting up a lot of points this week, and no one did. This is no aberration either, NFL teams just DON'T score that much. Occaisionally a team will put up 40 or so, but when it does, NFL Primetime (which sucks now, by the way) is like... "WHOOOAAAAAAA! FORTY POINTS!"

I can't believe I forgot about that, and it was pathetic of me to suggest that New England, Cincinnati, Seattle, Dallas, Philadelphia, and New York (G) would score over 30 points. Of course, leave it to MY Niners to be the only team to give up more than 30. Hey, at least we kept up. No excuses, but the score predicting needs to improve.

3. The Oakland/San Diego Game. What a shame it is to re-read my blog and see that I said that the Raiders would put up more of a fight than anyone expected. In reality, they put up less of a fight than anyone expected. I made the horrible assumption that the Raider offense would at least be able to move the ball, then on top of that, I predicted that they would actually score! What a fool I am. Seriously though, how bad was their offensive line? They're young, they're talented, but they SUCK! NINE SACKS?!?!? Count them... 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9... I mean, Aaron Brooks can't count much higher. Neither can Randy Moss or Al Davis for that matter. The Raiders might truly be the worst team in the league, but nobody goes 0-16... too bad for those couple of teams that lose to the Raiders this year. Talk about a bubble-burster.

Philip Rivers surely did not look like an "assclown" as I predicted. Marty Schottenheimer sure did a great job of ensuring that Rivers would not have to take too many chances and limited him to 11 attempts. Foolish me, I didn't even consider the possibility that the Chargers could just hand the ball to L.T. all night and have Rivers do as little as possible. Either way, he's still going to struggle, and when he looks back, he'll be thankful that his first game was against these Raiders.

2. Thinking that New England and Denver would be good based on past performance and coaching staff. Obviously one cannot expect Tom Brady to get sacked on the first play, fumble, and have it returned for a touchdown. That will mess with any coach's gameplan, even the honorable Mr. Belichick. The Patriots pulled it out though, and at least I got to add them into my lowly win column. But what the hell was I thinking? That without Deion Branch the Patriots would have a solid WR corps in TROY BROWN and RECHE CALDWELL? That Corey Dillon is as good as he was in Cinci? No, it was probably that I knew who New England's QB was and didn't think beyond that. It won't happen again.

Don't get me wrong, I think Jake Plummer is quite suspect as a legitimate contender's QB, but he was running all over the place on Sunday. The Rams defensive line was absolutely ridiculous on that turf, and I think Michael Vick would have had a rough day behind that line. Give Jake some credit, he'll improve. So, I underestimated the Rams defensive line. I knew that Bulger would play well, that Holt would play well, and that Steven Jackson would play well. I guess I overlooked the defense, as they were the real reason the Rams won. Denver's defense was impressive mind you, as they refused to allow Jake's 3 INTs to turn into touchdowns. Yay for Jeff Wilkins, but I'm still not jumping on the Rams bandwagon, even if Seattle continues to look lethargic against mediocre teams. Denver is still a good team and will do well, but they better not think they're going to run over everyone like last year. Assumptions, assumptions... stupid me.

1. As I say this, I still do not know if I believe it, but I should not have made Seattle my "LOCK OF THE WEEK." Would anyone have argued with me, however? When you all read it, was there even a second guess to my statement that Seattle would run over Detroit and that Sean Alexander, Matt Hasslebeck, and Darrell Jackson would be wearing baseball hats in the 4th quarter? Probably not. But maybe there's more to this "Superbowl Loss Hangover." Maybe Seattle is going to have a terrible year and they only got lucky with a one field goal victory because the Lions are that bad.

I don't really believe any of that crap, but Seattle sure as hell looked weak. I don't want to hear any of this Steve Hutchinson crap either, losing ONE GUARD does not make you a shitty football team by any standard, no matter how good "Hutch" is. (And he is damn good, by the way) I think that Seattle was going into that game with the same mentality that I had in predicting the game; they were the better team and deserved to win. To borrow from Chris Berman, "that's why they play the games." Seattle will improve with this wake-up call however, and I still think they're a lock to win the West, unless the Niners trade for Julius Peppers and Osi Umenyeora tomorrow. :D

Five Things that Saved My Reputation

5. The Bengals Jail Drama. I told you all that the Bengals would return to form with Carson at the helm. Carson didn't even have that amazing of a game, and the defense really clamped down on a solid Kansas City team with a lot of weapons. Granted, knocking out Trent Green didn't hurt, but I don't think that KC was going to win this game. Marvin Lewis most definitely has a hold on this team and the legal troubles will not prove to be anything more than an example of overused and overexposed media, even in the sports world. This just in, the Bengals are for real... and Marvin Lewis deserves a ton of credit for it. Had Carson thrown for 300 and 3 TDs, I most definitely would be giving him more of the credit, but the team is a good one either way. Watch out for Cincinnati in January people.

4. Brett Favre Should Have Retired or Left Green Bay. Brett's "this is the most talented team I've ever been on," quote is easily a lock for making the Darwin Awards this year. I'll give you that Chicago really does have a nasty defense, and I'll give you that Brett Favre is pushing 40, but a shutout, in Green Bay? Go ahead, explain that to me.

I'm waiting.

The fact of the matter is that Green Bay's defensive and offensive combination (especially with Moron McCarthy running the offense) just cannot sustain a close game. Brett just cannot end up on the field with a lead or any sort of comfort, and therefore will always be rushing throws or trying to do more than he should/can. Not to mention the fact that his offensive line has him running scared all day. Brett tries too hard and will continue to throw interceptions and will continue to lose. Sorry Brett, go to a team that needs a quarterback and nothing else.

3. The One Game I Really Pinned Down. After all those games where I was giving you scores that could substitute for Ohio State vs. Miami of Ohio, Texas vs. North Texas, or Troy vs. Miami (oh wait... not that one!), I only missed the final score on this one by a combined 4 points! I'm proud of that, but more proud of the fact that I knew Reggie Bush would make the Houston Texans eat their words.

Please understand that I'm not trying to jump on the Reggie Bush bandwagon here people. I was probably the one guy in the nation who would have started an Anti-Reggie Bush Club last year and make every meeting. Unfortunately for the pain I suffered as a Bruin at the hands (or feet) of Reggie Bush the past three years goes all for not, and I must admit that Reggie truly is an amazing football player. At least I knew it and at least I called it in this one. Brees, Bush, and McCallister will prove to be a dynamic trio and will cause a lot of problems for some of the better teams in the league. Rookie of the year people.

2. Brad "YEAAA... MOTHERF**KER!!" Johnson. (This is what he was screaming in that footage on ESPN after the TD pass) What were my exact words from last week? "He gets the job done." Does he ever! I thought that the Redskins would look worse than they did, but that just goes to show you how many props Johnson deserves! He took a new offense against a solid defense and literally took them all over the field. He didn't make any stupid throws, made no mistakes, and literally kept the game within reach when his kicker couldn't make an extra point. Mind you, this game would have been over a lot earlier if Longwell would have been able to put that first extra point through the uprights. Instead, the kicking game made it a bit harder and Brad had to lead the team down the field AGAIN, for a final scoring drive that would lead to a victory. Upset of the week comes through... that should count as two points.

1. Alex Smith and the 49ers. You knew it was coming, didn't you? I told you that the 49ers could give Arizona a run for their money in that $455 million stadium. People have been talking a lot of shit about Alex and the Niners in the offseason, and I hope they're all understanding that the boy can throw the ball. Yes, I can call him boy because he's younger than me. Our defense couldn't stop Arizona to save our lives, but that kid, with the aid of Norv Turner and Frank Gore, kept us in the game. We were down by 10 with 6 minutes left or so, and had charged down to the AZ 16 yard line. 3rd and 2, and the 2nd year QB tosses to the rookie Vernon Davis, who drops the ball. We end up missing the field goal.

All I'm saying is that with a bit more help, Smith could have very well won that game. We still came down to the fated Hail Mary at the end, although that never works in the NFL.

Just give the guy some credit, and give me some credit for telling you all, even through my biased, 9er loving teeth. Alex Smith will be a star QB in this league, and the Niners will be a playoff contending franchise within 3 years. Nolan has us headed in the right direction. It isn't going to be too happy of a year unless improvement is considered though.

5 Observations, Random As They May Be

5. Baltimore is Going to Be Really Good. McNair wasn't even the major factor in that game, but when it comes down to needing some offense, he will be there. The defense is back, so watch out. I can see this team stealing some victories from Pittsburgh, Cinci, Jax.

4. The AFC is still better than the NFC. I can't believe I almost forgot. I banked on the Giants improving enough to take out a Colts team that didn't have a running game (and they still don't!), and they could not get the job done. It will be another AFC Superbowl this year.

3. The Eagles are good again and will contend with Dallas and New York for the NFC East Championship. After Sunday, I really wonder if Dallas can pull it off, but T.O. and Julius Jones can certainly rack up points. The tough defenses will give them trouble.

Granted, The Eagles played the Texans, but they're not as bad as their name connotates. The Giants are solid with Tiki and continual improvement from Eli, but all of these teams can trade victories at home. Somehow I feel the Eagles can matchup better with non-conference teams. Watchout though, this IS A TOUGH division, Bill Simmons.

2. New Orleans is ready for the future. Brees, Bush, Colston (WHO? Look him up.), Payton. 'Nuff said.

1. The Atlanta Falcons are your sleeper. Perennially knocking on the door with the talented Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn, Atlanta may just have what it takes to get there this year. Mora Jr. runs that defense really well and is smart enough to know that you need to run, run, run to have success in this league. He does nothing short of that and with a bit more pocket presence and passing execution from Vick, the Falcons can fly with any team, pun intended. From what I saw against a very good Carolina defense that was apparently unprepared, Vick has improved, and will make the playoffs. Watch out NFC East, these guys might be able to run all over your slower paced action. (I neglected to mention the North for offensive reasons, and the Seahawks because they were absolutely pathetic and need to show me they're ready to get back to the big dance.)

Observation 1a. (I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT!) Did you see how friggin' amazing the Redskins Cheerleaders are? Usually NFL cheerleaders are pretty fine, but after being linked to the Arizona cheerleaders by an ESPN columnist, I was disappointed. After watching MNF, I was quite excited. There were some mighty fine ladies in that nasty maroon and yellow. Also, the Redskins win for having the craziest stadium... did you hear how loud that place was? There were 90,000 people there! Holy bajeezus, that's home field advantage. Didn't hurt Brad Johnson though, did it?


How 'Bout Them BUCKEYES!?!?

4-0 for my highly selective college picks last week, although the Bruins looked terrible, and Minnesota didn't put up the fight for all 4 quarters. Cal is still overrated, just like Texas.

Buckeyes undefeated, National Champs.

See you later in the week with some real predictions for Week 2. I'll get 10 of 'em right at least.

TJ

9.08.2006

2006 NFL Predictions Week 1 (and some college)

I've been reading just about every single article that comes out of ESPN.com about the NFL. There are a lot of guys coming up with top 100 lists of things that will and will not happen throughout the year, guys making predictions for the playoffs and superbowl, and guys making weekly predictions. Personally, I feel like Bill Simmons needs to be picked on. I think this guy is pretty much a total douche, as he is the one who is quoted below as saying that Kobe's career is "an arc of disappointment."

However, a couple of weeks ago he finally made a nice post on ESPN's Page 2, and I've been giving him a bit more slack of late. Every once and a while I'll actually agree with something he says and thus, I've been a bit more receptive to his columns. Today was just another day though, as he made his week one predictions. I like that the guy never stands on the fence, but it just sucks that he's a friggin' DOLT.

I'm not going to throw in figures against the spread as he does, but I will tell you who's going to win and why. Granted, this is week 1, and we have only seen very tiny bits of complete team performances in the preseason. New players, new coaches, new schemes will mean that things are going to be a bit harder to predict starting out...

but things only get easier from here.

Yesterday's opening game featured the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers and the visiting Miami Dolphins. I will be honest here and tell you that I picked the Dolphins to win. Being that Ben Roethlisberger was out after having emergency appendectomy surgery, I figured that Charlie Batch couldn't hold up the slack and the Dolphins' D would really take it to him. Much to my surprise, Batch looked GREAT, and may have earned himself a solid look as a struggling team's first-string QB for next year.

I thought that Daunte Culpepper would have been much better with the Dolphins who came in with a real hot streak at the end of last season. Ronnie Brown played well, but the offense really didn't get going, and that's what I was relying on in my prediction. Anyway, I'm 0-1.

Atlanta @ Carolina
Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn will face one of the league's best defenses here--if not THE best--and will struggle. The Falcons' league leading rushing offense the last two years will do some damage to wear down Carolina, but Jake Delhomme and company will prove to score a bit more often and will win this game rather comfortably.

The X-Factor is Steve Smith and his two hamstring injuries. If he does not play, Carolina will have a bit harder of a time scoring, but Jake always seems to find a way into the endzone, and can do so with Keyshawn Johnson.

Carolina wins, 28-17

Baltimore @ Tampa Bay
This is one of the most exciting matchups of the week and honestly, probably the hardest to predict. There are too many new things for each team and too many new possible ways for things to go down.

Tampa is beginning its first season with young Chris Simms at the helm, although he has some solid game-starting experience from last year. Michael Clayton, their #2 WR, is healthy again and can provide a punch to the offense. Cadillac Williams starts the season healthy again and has massive potential for a huge year.

However, the Baltimore defense is still around and is still creating fear in handicappers' minds. Ray Lewis, their star LB, is back from injury and plans to fill any holes left in the defensive line. This game is going to be a close one, and a tough defensive battle, because both teams have perennial powerhouse defenses. Baltimore's has more of a question mark looming because of Ed Reed and Ray Lewis' problems last season. I would venture to say that they'll be ready.

On the other side of the ball, Steve McNair is now the QB for Baltimore and he brings with him a serious resume. Co-MVP two years ago, there is no doubt that McNair knows how to run an offense. He is reuinting with his favorite WR in Tennessee in Derrick Mason, and there should be immediate chemistry. The running game? Jamal Lewis is back, and not in a contract year, but no one seems to have faith that he'll do well this year. Mike Anderson is his backup, somone that I have a lot of respect for, although he remains quiet on fantasy football draft boards.

This game is a toss-up really, and I still don't know who to go with even as of this moment.

Tampa Wins a defensive gutbuster, 17-16.

Buffalo at New England
Tom Brady doesn't have his star WR in Deion Branch because he's in a contract duel with the Patriots' front office. It won't matter though, as Brady spreads the ball like no other quarterback in the league. He'll find Belichick in the endzone if he needs to.

Willis McGahee will probably do well for Buffalo along side of J.P. Losman and Lee Evans. They'll keep it close for the first quarter but New Englad will pull away and leave Foxboro with Brady donning a massive smile. He'll call Deion after the game and tell him to sign for cheap because they don't need him.

New England wins comfortably 38-17

Cincinnati @ Kansas City
I can't wait for this one. Carson Palmer is returning from massive knee surgery and based on what I saw in his first preseason game, there is nothing for the Bengal-nation to worry about. People keep bringing up the off-field problems that the team has had with arrests and legal troubles, but I think they're all for not, and the Bengals will have a great season again. This time Kemo Von Olhoffen won't be around to tear more ligaments. The Bengals are one of my major contenders for a superbowl bid. (I will not make that prediction until mid-season, however)

Kansas City features an old QB with a steady arm, all the while throwing for 4,000 yards every friggin' season. He's a quiet one, but always gets the job done. Trent has the league's most feared back in Larry Johnson standing behind him; Yes Sean Alexander, I said MOST feared. Johnson will have a major year and will most likely have a great game, but Kansas City just can't keep up with the Bengals and lose a heartbreaker shootout.

Cinci 40 KC 37

Denver @ St. Louis
The biggest "sleeper" team hitting up all the pages of ESPN and CBS recently is...

THE ST. LOUIS RAMS!?!?! Are you f*cking kidding me? I swear to God these columnists don't know their asses from a hole in the ground. The Rams MAY improve and MAY win a more games than expected, but they CANNOT-- CAN NOT--win the division. There are too many other GOOD, PROVEN teams in the NFC to take away wildcard spots and therefore, the Rams cannot make the playoffs. CAN NOT. As in, NOT GONNA HAPPEN. There, I'm done with that bullshit "sleeper" talk.

The Rams will have the turf advantage, but Denver is a better team on both sides of the ball and it will show.

Denver 29 St. Louis 24

New Orleans @ Cleveland
The Reggie Bush show begins this week, and the nation's eyes will be watching. I'm honestly up in arms as to what to expect from him, but I'd lean on the successful side versus the not-so. I know I sit on the fence a bunch more than these ESPN writers, but I'm not getting paid to be a goat, so I can cover my ass a bit.

Reggie will soon realize that he's not quite as fast at the pro level as he was in college but should go for a TD in this game. Deuce McAllister's knee will be the true indicator of his rushing success this year, but lining up in the slot with Drew Brees throwing to him will prove to be quite effective for the Saints. Their porous defense will prove to be problematic though, and they will struggle to pull this game off. Luckily, Cleveland is starting Charlie Frye, and I don't think anyone expects a 250 yard passing performance. Rueben Droughns will get his yards be won't find the endzone more than once.

This game is another one that is tough to call, but being that the Saints have SOME superstars and the Browns have ONE, in Willie McGinnest (who can't score, unfortunately).

I'll go with N'Alins, 22-12

N.Y. Jets @ Tennessee Titans
One word... BOOOOOORRRRRINNNGGGGG.

The Jets have a SOMEWHAT solid defense but no running game and a VERY suspect passing attack. Tennessee has a better, well-established coach, and a backup QB running an offense until Vince Young is ready. I actually think Volek has nice skills, from what I saw of him in a backup role when McNair would go down. The Titans don't have much of a running attack either, and this game is a sleeper/punt-fest. The Titan fans will be screaming "We Want Vince," even though they'll win the game.

Tennessee 18 Jets 10

Philadelphia @ Houston
Two eras begin in this game: The McNabb Post-T.O. Era, and the Mario Williams #1 Pick? Era.

Mario will do well, but probably not get a sack because Donovan can shed tacklers so well. Williams may never prove to be worth a number one pick, especially considering they do not have a running back and should have signed Reggie anyway. He'll have a great career though, but his skills will not affect this game.

Donovan, on the other hand, will prove to everyone that he's still a solid quarterback and pro-bowler, even though I think he needs an accuracy check. He'll spread the ball, move around, and keep the Texans' suspect defense on their heels for a comfortable victory.

Philly 35 Houston 20

Seattle @ Detroit
This is the surefire LOCK OF THE WEEK. Seattle hits the comfortable turf of Detroit and runs, literally, all over the Detroit defense, bringing Matt Millen one game closer to being fired. Detroit's offense will improve with Mike Martz calling the plays but no team with John Kitna, sorry I'm not jumping on that wagon, at the helm will make a run. Seattle was a deserving Super Bowl contender last year and will be again this year.

Hasslebeck has proved that he's a star QB with the brains to run a successful offense. Nothing needs to be said about the skills of Sean Alexander, but he is still not as feared as he should be. (Thus, my LJ remark above.) No knock on SA, but defenses don't talk about him the way they do about LT and LJ....

although they should.

Seattle wins big and rests the starters in the 4th. 41-21

Chicago @ Green Bay
Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre, oh how ye should have retired. I love the guy, despite the fact that he's destroyed my team's playoff hopes many-a-season, but his team doesn't have a chance this year.

Chicago's defense is too ridiculous for GB to win this game, even though they'll be at home and everyone is picking them as the upset pick of the week. Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson will get plenty of yards and keep Favre and his recently interception-happy arm off the field long enough to claim a close victory.

Rex Grossman will look poor, and they'll be talking "QB Controversy" in Chicago as of Monday morning.

Lovie, just put in Griese right now. He will be the reason you have any chance of winning the division at all. Rex = Heath Schuler.

Bears 20 Packers 13

Dallas @ Jacksonville
This may be the game to watch this week, despite a lot of good matchups in the AFC.

Dallas has a great team and a great coach and should do a lot of damage to a lot of teams. The thing that I'm wondering, is why the hell isn't anyone talking about them? Everyone is waiting for TO to explode, but I have a feeling he won't derail the 'Boys this year despite a couple mid-season flairups. Everyone is ragging on Bledsoe, but there is one thing that he can do, and that is throw touchdowns. Terrell Owens will have a big year and have a big game here, despite missing so much practice. The Jax defense will hold their own as best they can against a solid Dallas offense but I believe their offense will fall short of the endzone too often against a very fast Cowboys defense.

Julius Jones doesn't amaze, but neither does Fred Taylor or Marcedes Lewis. Drew, Terry, and Terrell handle this one.

Dallas 35 Jacksonville 26

San Francisco @ Arizona
Oh damn, here comes Mr. Biased with his biased, "I Love the 49ers More Than Anything" analysis, right? Maybe.

I can talk about the potential for this game all day, but you've already read too much. The 49ers are going to improve, and have already improved. Everyone says we're the worst team in the league again, and ESPN has us at the bottom of their Power Rankings list. We will prove them all wrong and win 6 games this year. Yeah, SIX. And can you believe it? I'm HAPPY ABOUT THAT!

The only team to have never lost a Super Bowl, the team that carried me through my childhood... will win 6 games and please the everloving shit out of me.

Norv Turner will get Frank Gore yards, Alex Smith will show everyone that he DOES have the talent of a stud QB, although he will MOST DEFINITELY struggle this year and throw quite a few INTs. Vernon Davis will be a stud, but won't produce that much. Antonio Bryant and Alex will have a deep touchdown hookup in this game and will definitely give Arizona a run for thier money.

The problem: The 49ers have ZERO pass rush. If we don't get to Kurt Warner, he will pick one of his two Pro-Bowl wide receivers and lead them all over the field. Edgerrin will run well against us and our defense will finally get the ridicule it deserves. Last year, our D got picked on, but really they were the only reason we ever had a chance. The offense couldn't get a first down. This year, we'll get SOME first downs, but it won't be enough to dominate any games and we'll rely on a defense that can't sack the quarterback to keep us close enough.

We CAN win this game though, but I have a feeling that Arizona will win their home opener in their new AMAZING stadium.

Pride prevails however, 49ers 26 Arizona 23. (Just like the Schwam, baby)

The Manning Bowl
It must be really nice for Archie Manning to know that both of his sons are amazing professional quarterbacks. But then again, it must suck knowing that he was one of the WORST IN HISTORY.

The Brothers Manning will most definitely put on a show Sunday night and the game will be a must-see. The winner will have to have a balanced rushing attack and the better defensive performance. I could see either team winning. Tiki Barber will do well, and Edgerri---oh shit... there's your X-Factor.

Who will the Colts run with? The answer... it doesn't matter. Peyton can have zero rushing attack and have all the DBs in the world watching his eyes and still throw 3 TDs. I don't think it will be quite as easy this year, and they WILL NOT win the super bowl, but Peyton can still make this happen.

The Colts defense should be a bit better than New York's, but that doesn't mean that they can not stay in the game. Eli will be outperformed by his brother, but thank God for Tiki.

Giants 33 Colts 28

Minnesota @ Washington
It was just announced that Clinton Portis will not start. It wouldn't have mattered. This is my upset pick of the week. Brad Johnson gets it done against Joe Gibbs' BORING style of football that only remotely works because his quarterback is almost as old as he is. Minnesota is on the rise--KIND OF-- and will pull this game off.

Brad Johnson is at the end of a lot of my QB jokes but the fact of the matter is that the guy gets the job done. Chester Taylor will perform well against an overrated Washington defense who should have never gotten rid of LaVar Arrington. Sorry Joe, stick to NASCAR or come back to the NFL when they decide to limit the number of yards a team can gain per carry.

Vikings 27 Washington 14

San Diego @ Oakland
I think every expert on ESPN.com picked San Diego. They're the better team, the Raiders are quite shitty--not as shitty as everyone makes them out to be, however--and LaDanian Tomlinson will run all over Oakland. You know, they're probably right. LaDanian is good for 3 scores but Aaron Brooks silences a lot of critics and gets 2 TDs from Randy Moss. Philip Rivers will thank his lucky stars that he has LT in the backfield as he will look like an assclown for the majority of this game. The Raider D gets a false sense of hope, but in the end should realize that ALL rookie QBs HAVE to struggle in this game.

Rivers is a lame duck, but LT can carry. Gates does mediocre because Rivers is a baby. San Diego wins a squeaker and realizes that they shoulda kept Drew Brees after he spreads the ball well against Cleveland.

San Diego 29 Oakland 24


Now for a couple college games:

UCLA will not cover the 27.5 point spread over Rice but we will surely win this game comfortably. Ben Olsen continues to wow and actually gets us on the ESPN highlight reels this week.
****UPDATE**** Upon further review, UCLA will surely beat Rice by more than 27.5
I do not know what I was thinking but my Bruins will surely dominate this game on both sides of the ball.

Original Prediction: UCLA 40 Rice 25

New Prediction: UCLA 52 Rice 20

Notre Dame has the toughest schedule of any team in the nation, and it surprises me that people are picking them to win the National Championship. Sorry Charlie, it just can't happen. They will continue to get smoke blown up their asses this week though, with a solid win over Penn State who truly misses Michael Robinson.
ND 28 PSU 17

California continues to disappoint and BARELY beats Minnesota this week. The Bears are a joke, sorry guys.
Min 24 Cal 27

And for the barn-burner... #1 Ohio State @ #2 Texas.
There hasn't been a more anticipated college football game since... well, since the National Championship last year, but anyway.. it's a big game.

I'm a massive Ohio State fan and I have massive amounts of respect for both coaches in this affair. Ohio State lost a lot on defense to the NFL draft last year, and Texas only lost Vince Young. Sorry Horns, but that will prove to be the bigger loss. Ohio State disrupts Colt McCoy enough to ensure that their prolific scoring attack with Troy Brown (McNabb with an Real Arm... you'll see), and Ginn Jr. Ohio State stays number 1 and wins in a GREAT game.
OSU 47 Texas 36

Been a While...

Once again, I failed to continue a blog after I started out on such a blistering pace.

In my defense, I have spent the past three weeks attempting to find apartments, moving TWICE, and finally settling down into my apartment. It has been a struggle to keep this thing going, but I hope I can continue even though I'm sure nobody is reading this anymore.

I'm going to mold into more of a sports commentary because I like talking about sports more than news.

I suppose that's mostly because the news is the exact same bullshit every day and I'm sick of reiterating how much people piss me off when they make opinions without thinking about the other side of the issue. This is the backbone of our American journalist corps.

So anyway, I'm going to write more about sports... and feed you information about stuff as it comes up in the news world.

8.10.2006

A German Says WHUUUUUUUUUUT???

This isn't much of a blog, but something you all should read.

Mathias Dapfner,
Chief Executive of the huge German publisher Axel Springer AG, has written a
blistering attack in DIE WELT, Germany's largest daily paper, against
the timid reaction of Europe in the face of the Islamic threat.

EUROPE - THY NAME IS COWARDICE
(Commentary by Mathias Dapfner CEO, Axel
Springer, AG)
A few days ago Henry Broder wrote in Welt am Sonntag, "Europe - your
family name is appeasement." It's a phrase you can't get out of your
head because it's so terribly true. Appeasement cost millions of Jews and non-Jews their lives, as
England and France, allies at the time, negotiated and hesitated too
long before they noticed that Hitler had to be fought, not bound to
toothless agreements.
Appeasement legitimized and stabilized Communism in the Soviet Union,
then East Germany, then all the rest of Eastern Europe, where for decades,
inhuman suppressive, murderous governments were glorified as the
ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities.
Appeasement crippled Europe when genocide ran rampant in Kosovo, and
even though we had absolute proof of ongoing mass-murder, we Europeans
debated and debated and debated, and were still debating when finally the
Americans had to come from halfway around the world, into Europe yet
again, and do our work for us.
Rather than protecting democracy in the Middle East, European
Appeasement, camouflaged behind the fuzzy word "equidistance," now
countenances suicide bombings in Israel by fundamentalist Palestinians.
Appeasement generates a mentality that allows Europe to ignore nearly
500,000 victims of Saddam's torture and murder machinery and,
motivated by the self-righteousness of the peace movement, has the gall to issue
bad grades to George Bush... Even as it
is uncovered that the loudest critics of the American action in Iraq
made illicit billions, no! , TENS of billions, in the corrupt U.N.
Oil-for-Food program.
And now we are faced with a particularly grotesque form of
appeasement. How is Germany reacting to the escalating violence by Islamic
Fundamentalists in Holland and elsewhere? By suggesting that we really
should have a "Muslim Holiday" in Germany?
, but I am not. A substantial fraction of our (German) Government, and
if the polls are to be believed, the German people, actually believe that
creating an Official State "Muslim Holiday" will somehow spare us from the wrath of the fanatical
Islamists.
One cannot help but recall Britain's Neville Chamberlain waving the
laughable treaty signed by Adolph Hitler and declaring European "Peace
in our time".
What else has to happen before the European public and its political
leadership get it? There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially
perfidious crusade consisting of systematic attacks by fanatic
Muslims, focused on civilians, directed against our
free, open Western societies, and intent upon Western Civilization's
utter destruction.
It is a conflict that will most likely last longer than any of the
great military conflicts of the last century – a conflict conducted by an
enemy that cannot be tamed by "tolerance" and
"accommodation" but is actually spurred on by such gestures, which
have proven to be, and will always be taken by the Islamists for signs of
weakness. Only two recent American Presidents had the courage needed
for Anti-appeasement: Reagan and Bush.
His American critics may quibble over the details, but we Europeans
know the truth. We saw it first hand: Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War,
freeing half of the German people from nearly 50 years of terror and virtual
slavery. Bush, supported only by the Social Democrat Blair, acting on moral conviction, recognized the
danger in the Islamic War against Democracy. His place in history will have
to be evaluated after a number of years have passed.
In the meantime, Europe sits back with charismatic self-confidence in
the multicultural corner, instead of defending liberal society's values
and being an attractive center of power on the same playing field as the true great powers, America and
China.
On the contrary - we Europeans present ourselves, in contrast to those
"arrogant Americans", as the World Champions of "tolerance", which
even (Germany's Interior Minister) Otto Schily justifiably criticizes. Why?
Because we're so moral? I fear it's more because we're so materialistic, so devoid of a moral compass.
For his policies, Bush risks the fall of the dollar, huge amounts of
additional national debt, and a massive and persistent burden on the
American economy - because unlike almost all of Europe, Bush realizes
what is at stake - literally everything.
While we criticize the "capitalistic robber barons" of America because
they seem too sure of their priorities, we timidly defend our Social
Welfare systems. Stay out of it! It could get expensive! We'd rather
discuss reducing our 35-hour workweek or our
dental coverage, or our 4 weeks of paid vacation... Or listen to TV
pastors preach about the need to "reach out to terrorists. To
understand and forgive".
These days, Europe reminds me of an old woman who, with shaking hands,
frantically hides her last pieces of jewelry when she notices a robber
breaking into a neighbor's house. Appeasement? Europe, thy name is
Cowardice.

8.09.2006

Snippety Snip Snip

A Kinder Cut

Apparently a circumcised weiner reduces your chances of getting HIV from a woman by 60%. This makes perfect sense, considring you're actually removing a fold where shit can get stuck. (Gross, huh?) Furthermore, the removal of the foreskin actually hardens the glans and renders it more difficult for HIV to get into.

They estimate that if every male in Africa were circumcised 6,000,000 AIDS cases would be avoided each year. That fuckin' rules. Remember, most of the people that get AIDS here are homosexuals, and the majority over there are hetero, and they transmit the disease because they have no idea how seminal fluid works, etc.

Send the moils to Africa! Let's have an African Bris Fest!

Hahaha... sorry, this isn't a laughing matter, but at least there's some benefit to doing it, other than the fact that you won't look like a freak.

Let's go have sex!

A Sports First...

Okay, this is the first time I'm gonna break down and talk about something in sports.

Alex Rodriguez gets more shit from EVERYONE in the sports world than fucking Pete "The Better" Rose. I don't think either did anything wrong, but someone needs to stand up and say something. A-Rod gets hassled by the New York fans on a regular basis. I know they're harsh as average people, and are harsh as sports fans, but god damn.

The guy makes an error, and he gets booed. He hits a game winning homerun and gets a standing-o. He makes an error and they don't even give up a run and he gets booed.

All right, I get it. They have NASTY expectations. That's fine.

However, the real reason that I brought this point up, is that I just took a poll on ESPN's SportsNation, and 70.2% of 10,000+ voted that when A-Rod slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in the 2004 ALCS, they "thought less of him as a player." (The other option was "More" of a player.)

I selected "More."

The guy is running to a base, and realizes he's going to get tagged out. Baseball has a rule, that you can't run outside the basepath or you'll be called out. So, his options are, get tagged and be over it, or try to do something else.

Granted, he could have stuck his arms in the air, danced around, and started screaming in an attempt to throw Bronson off his game, but that's a bit far-fetched, as well as unlikely to succeed. Instead, A-Rod attempted to replicate a catcher-crunching hit at the plate to knock the ball loose, and tried to slap it out of Bronson's glove. (The ball actually came out, too) Unfortunately for Alex, they called him out anyway, because the ball hit him first and apparently you can't interfere with the ball.

First of all, I think this poses a problem for baseball's ruling authority, because running into the catcher effectively does the exact same thing, doesn't it? I don't know the rulebook by hand and I'm not even going to look it up and read it, because my major point lies further into the examination of A-Rod's thought process.

If he were to get tagged out, people would be sad, and he'd probably be blamed for not getting a solid hit or putting the ball over the fence. Instead, he didn't get a hit, something GREAT baseball players can only do 35% of the time. Doesn't the fact that the guy tried to slap the ball out of his opponent's glove demonstrate his utmost desire to get on base and help his team? Doesn't it show that he was doing all he could to get to that base? Doesn't it show that he would try ANYTHING, as strange as it may seem, to help the Yankees win?

OF COURSE IT DOES. It may have been a stupid play, and he might have known that it wouldn't work, but you sure as hell can't say the play makes you think LESS of him as a player.

Fucking morons with votes...

I hate you all.

8.08.2006

That's What a Hamburger's All About...

I couldn't be happier to inform you all that In-N-Out has decided to stay a private company and continue to stick with the same simple menu. There has been a ton of pressure on the family-owned corporation to go public or to sell to a larger company for nationwide (perhaps worldwide) expansion. However, the family will continue to reign and keep the company as is.

They worry about going too big, too fast and wonder if they'll lose the mystique and loyalty associated with the chain. I couldn't agree more. When these companies go big, they lose their feel, they change their menu, and suddenly everyone knows who they are and what they're about. As for In-N-Out, they're rated with the highest customer satisfaction of any fast food chain. They have hamburgers, cheeseburgers, fries, drinks, and shakes. That's it. Everybody loves it, and everyone feels like a part of something that others aren't. New Yorkers don't know what In-N-Out is all about (pun slightly intended), and I like to keep it that way. Up until 8 years ago or so, I only knew a handful of people that knew what "animal-style" was. You must agree that there is some sort of cult following associated with In-N-Out... the religious writings on the cups, the crossed palm trees in front of every restaurant, the awesome, fresh food. I would attribute it all to being small and staying focused.

Look at Baja Fresh, for instance. They were tiny, had only a few stores in Newbury Park and Thousand Oaks (near where I grew up) and had lines out the friggin' doors all day long. Then they popped up in Beverly Hills, the SFV, and LA. Things continued to go well...

Then Wendy's steps in, changes the menu (a little so far, but I'd bet it will change a lot soon), and sales take a dive (not majorly, yet.... YET.) But the main point is that people like myself don't feel associated with that grass-roots type of restaurant like I did before anyone knew about it. It's just like Rubio's now, and I waste my breath trying to defend Baja, saying it was the original. I have no more ground to stand on, thanks to Wendy's.

If only companies that get a great idea would stick to being a representative of that great idea rather than turning to outright capitalism and hegemony. In-N-Out should never change their menu, and should continue to only expand at a slow rate to keep that mystique. I guarantee you they'll be full and successful as always.

Who really minds waiting for a double-double?

Holy Shitballs...

I'm not going to link you to this, because I have a feeling that you're not reading my links. Read this:

WSJ: Scholar Warns Iran's Ahmadinejad May Have 'Cataclysmic Events' In Mind For August 22
Tue Aug 08 2006 10:22:35 ET

In a WALL STREET JOURNAL op-ed Tuesday, Princeton's Bernard Lewis writes: "There is a radical difference between the Islamic Republic of Iran and other governments with nuclear weapons. This difference is expressed in what can only be described as the apocalyptic worldview of Iran's present rulers."

"In Islam as in Judaism and Christianity, there are certain beliefs concerning the cosmic struggle at the end of time -- Gog and Magog, anti-Christ, Armageddon, and for Shiite Muslims, the long awaited return of the Hidden Imam, ending in the final victory of the forces of good over evil, however these may be defined."

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "and his followers clearly believe that this time is now, and that the terminal struggle has already begun and is indeed well advanced. It may even have a date, indicated by several references by the Iranian president to giving his final answer to the US about nuclear development by Aug. 22," which this year corresponds "to the 27th day of the month of Rajab of the year 1427. This, by tradition, is the night when many Muslims commemorate the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq, first to 'the farthest mosque,' usually identified with Jerusalem, and then to heaven and back (c.f., Koran XVII.1).

"This might well be deemed an appropriate date for the apocalyptic ending of Israel and if necessary of the world. It is far from certain that Mr. Ahmadinejad plans any such cataclysmic events precisely for Aug. 22. But it would be wise to bear the possibility in mind."

---Courtesy of DrudgeReport.com

Now, I don't know who this "scholar" is, but if he's right, there's gonna be some SHIT GOING DOWN. Thank God it's across the globe, but this has NASTY WWIII implications. If Iran were to do the ultimate and nuke Israel, we would surely do the same to them, or at least carpet bomb the shit out of that place. Then all of the middle east would be involved, let alone what North Korea, China, and Russia would do. I would venture to say that the Chinese and Russians would venture to stay out, but if NK decided to send some shit at Japan or us, China would most likely be telling Kim Jon-Il to chill out, but would be on the verge of attacking us if we were to "miss" and hit any sort of Chinese soil.

Remember, the Chinese need us for our import/export ratio... they are not such sworn enemies as many people assume.

However, this could get nasty, really quick.

This is all speculation of course, but God damn, just think about how a person, in 2006, possesses these types of thoughts and beliefs. AND HE'S RUNNING A WORLD POWER!

Talk all the shit you want about George W. Bush, (and I'll bet you're ignorant to much of the truth anyway), but at least he has a bit of a better attitude towards life on this planet.

This Iranian fuck really scares me, and he should scare you too.

He's providing military assistance to Hezbollah AND Kim Jong-Il (who is no quiet party at the button-pressers anonymous meetings).

Pre-empt? hahahahahhaahaaha...

no. But damn, think about it.